BMW – 118, “It’s a Wonderful Night”

I’m just churning out the recaps this week, huh? I wanted to do this blog on a weekly schedule, but that would take me roughly 3 years. So I’m trying to get at least one recap done a week, but I’ll do as many as I feel like during the week.

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Cory’s parents are going to be out this evening, and Eric out on a date, so Cory, and Shawn, and I guess Morgan, are going to be left alone, in the care of Judy, Queen of Zits, who has actually been mentioned before but never seen.

Cory and Shawn are planning on telling Judy that her face is especially broken out that evening, so that she’ll spend the whole night popping zits in the bathroom. While she’s in there, the boys are going to watch a movie that is presumably super violent and gory, because this show came on TGIF so they couldn’t be watching a movie of more Adult, sexy matters.

This opening scene was one of the shortest we’ve had in a while. I think it took me twice as long to type up what happened as it did for the show to actually show it, and I even left out some minor things.

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Later, at the house, Eric finds out about Cory’s little scheme – hiding a gory, R-rated movie in a Barney the Dinosaur case – and praises his craftiness, but tells him to be careful. Eric goes on to say that he’s been banking up “trust” points – he’s been carefully working to get his parents to trust him, and so now they’re fine with him going to get his driver’s license with his friend and his friend’s brother, instead of with one of them. I don’t really see how any of that is related to Cory watching a movie while his parents are out, but whatever.

Cory gets really excited about Eric getting his license, and starts coming up with all sorts of things they could do once Eric can legally drive on his own – they could go to the baseball card shop, for instance, and other places that Cory likes. Eric says that’s a great plan, all he’s ever wanted to do is drive his little brother around town instead of going on dates with cute girls. Then Eric hits Cory with a pillow

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Amy finds Cory downstairs doing homework, even though it’s still light out, and immediately suspects something – she just isn’t sure what. Alan doesn’t want to go to wherever it is he and Amy are going, and asks if he could just stay home and bond with Cory, but of course Cory has other plans and insists Alan go.

One short scene transition later – seriously why are all the scenes so short in this episode? – Eric and Jason come back from Eric’s driving test. Eric apparently failed – before the test even started. From what I gather, he hit something because he thought the DMV guy was waving him forward, but the guy who was waving was someone else’s dad and wasn’t even waving at him. I’d wonder why that automatically failed Eric when his test hadn’t even started, but having been to the Department of Motor Vehicles many times myself, I find Eric’s situation entirely plausible.

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Tiffany, Eric’s date for the evening, calls, and before Eric can tell her that he can’t take her out because he can’t legally drive, Jason rips the phone from his hands and tells Tiffany that they’ll be there to pick her up later that night.

Eric thinks he should tell his dad that he failed his test and doesn’t actually have his license, but Jason is like “No, tell him TOMORROW. After our fun is over.” And then Alan gives Eric the keys to his car, as a reward for passing his test. And how can Eric possibly say no to that?

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And then Judy calls. She can’t make it. It looks like all Eric’s worrying about not passing his test yet somehow still driving the girls around town is all for naught, unless Eric can just find another babysitter in the next 10 minutes… I guess because Cory isn’t allowed to babysit anymore after what happened last time, when Morgan broke a window because Cory left her alone.

But, look!

FEENY!
FEENY!

Feeny! Of course!

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Good ol’ Feeny.

Wait, it gets better:

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So Morgan’s mix-and-bake cake is ready, I guess, so Feeny goes to get it out of the oven – because Morgan used the real oven and not an Easy-Bake oven? Weird. As he heads for the kitchen, Shawn and Cory, who are in the living room watching their R-rated gore fest, quickly change the channel to a nature documentary. Feeny approves. Because somehow despite being literally no more than 5 feet away from the television, he didn’t hear what the boys were watching until he was right in front of the tv.

[Side note: If I recall correctly, for VCRs, such as the one in the Matthews home, you’d have to change your tv channel to 3 or 4 for the video to come in, so if you changed the channel to, say, 6, the video would of course still be going, but you wouldn’t be able to see or hear it. You would instead see and hear whatever’s on channel 6. This is in contrast to many DVD players, where if you hit a certain button on any channel, the DVD will come up. I’m not doing a great job of explaining, but considering more people are coming into the world who have never seen a VCR or any kind of cassette tape, I felt like I should offer at least some explanation here.]

SO once they’re sure Feeny is in the kitchen, Cory and Shawn turn back to the movie. Stumpy (the movie’s villain) blew up the teenage girl’s head. Gross, yo.

Feeny comes back, and they don’t change the channel until Feeny is RIGHT BEHIND THEM.

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And he still doesn’t notice they’re watching a horror movie.

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In another part of the city, Eric’s [dad’s] car got impounded, and Tony the Car Guy won’t give Eric the car back, because Eric doesn’t have a license. The two girls decide to ditch Eric and Jason for a junior with a Camarro, and Eric is disgusted by these girls, only interested in guys with cars. I’m pretty sure those two girls were the ones who were only into Eric when they found out he had a modeling job and then made fun of him when it turned out he was a lobster, so I don’t know why he’s still bothering with those, uh, unpleasant young ladies anyway.

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So at some point, I guess, Eric called Feeny to come help him out. Feeny corrects Tony’s grammar and tells Eric that if it’s a matter of just showing Tony the driver’s license, he can just tell Feeny where his license is and he’ll go get it. It’s then that Feeny, Cory, and Shawn all realize that Eric is a complete dummkopf and doesn’t have a license at all.

Somehow it all works out, and Feeny, Morgan, Jason, Eric, Cory, and Shawn all go back to the Matthews home. Feeny is most displeased, and sends Morgan up to bed, sends Jason back from whence he came, and commands Eric go to his room and await further instructions. Cory and Shawn immediately sit on the couch and go back to watching their movie. Feeny somehow STILL doesn’t notice they’re watching a horror movie until he’s actually looking at the tv.

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Seriously, he was actually standing in front of the TV and didn’t notice the screams of tortured women until he was looking at it. I guess Feeny is only astute and observant when it comes to educational and life lesson matters, and not so much when it comes to noticing things that are going on 2 feet away from him.

Eric and Shawn still try to convince Feeny they’re watching the nature documentary on caribou, but Feeny finally figures out what’s going on and rips the cassette out of the VCR. He breaks the tape in the process (next time you complain about your DVD skipping, remember – at least your machine hasn’t eaten it and completely destroyed it), and discovers that the movie was rated R this whole time! Those wacky kids.

Amy and Alan come back and wonder what the heck Feeny is doing there, and Cory complains to them that Feeny wrecked his tape! That was of course a mistake, because now he’s brought the R-rated movie that he, a 12 year old, was watching without his parents’ permission, to the attention of the very parents who didn’t give him permission to watch such a movie! The horror!

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Shawn makes a quick exit, and they send Cory up to his room. He is grounded for 31 years, the terrible, no-good lout who has committed such an awful crime of watching a movie the MPAA deemed too violent for his age group!

Eric then comes downstairs to make his own confession. Alan is disbelieving – his car isn’t out in the driveway, so Eric can’t be home, because Eric must be out driving the car. That’s the only explanation for it not being in the driveway. So I guess things DIDN’T get worked out earlier, and Feeny just drive 6 kids home in his own car.

So Eric reveals that Alan’s car got towed, and so Alan is going to have to drive him over there to let it out… and also Amy will have to come drive Eric back home, because Eric doesn’t have a driver’s license. Alan calls Feeny the worst babysitter ever – and while I disagree with that statement, I do agree that he’s much better as a teacher – and Feeny says his children are the spawn of Satan, which, if true, would make for an interesting synopsis change of this show – “Satan’s Boy Meets World – the middle son of the Prince of Evil adjusts to live, girls, school, and growing up. Friday nights at 8:30”.

Feeny leaves, and Alan says when Eric finally gets his license, he’s just going to take it from him as a punishment for being so stupid and irresponsible. Amy sends Eric upstairs, and has a conversation with Alan. She tells him that she’s the one who has to chauffeur all these children all around town to every event they have to go to, so taking away Eric’s license when he finally gets it would sort of be punishing Amy as well. She’s been waiting 16 years for her oldest child to be able to drive by himself so she could finally have a break from always being the one driving everyone everywhere, every time.11814

Amy suggests that Eric’s punishment be that he has to drive his siblings wherever they want to go, to ease the burden on Amy, and also because Eric only sees driving as freedom and dates with girls and whatnot.

The parents go up to tell the children what their punishments are – Eric and Cory are both grounded for two weeks. During those two weeks, Eric is only allowed to study the driver’s manual handbook whatever it is and nothing else. Cory is only allowed to watch educational television. And apparently there’s a television in Cory and Eric’s room so I don’t know why Cory and Shawn couldn’t have just attempted to move the VCR upstairs to watch stuff, with the excuse that they don’t want to disturb Morgan’s tea party or something.

And, I’m sorry. Cory is grounded for two weeks for watching an R-rated movie? Shawn was only grounded for 4 weeks and he blew up a public mailbox. If it were my 11 or 12 year old who I caught watching a violent R-rated movie, I think I’d sit him down and explain why it’s not a good thing for kids his age to watch such movies, and then maybe give him the “two weeks of only educational programming” punishment, but grounding someone for 2 weeks for watching a video? A video that isn’t going to kill everyone in seven days??

When I was Cory’s age, I had already seen at least 2 R-rated movies. One was rated R for violence, the other for sex. But the sex was actually pretty tame in it, and the only nudity was one or two scenes with breasts. OH THE HORROR, SCARRED FOR LIFE, I WAS. I mean, just look at how much it has messed me up – I watch 90s sitcoms in 2013 for fun! I mean, gosh – just think of the sort of stand-up, well-to-do citizen I could be today if I hadn’t seen an R-rated movie when I was 12!

Of course I don’t think every 11 year old should be watching every R-rated movie all the time, but I think grounding someone for two weeks for watching a movie that’s just over-the-top violent is a little harsh – especially when the punishment time is half as long as the time someone did for blowing up public property with a cherry bomb.

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So during the credits, Cory and Morgan are fighting over Eric – Morgan has to go to gymnastics class soon, but Eric has little league starting in 2o minutes AND they have to pick up his uniform from the dry cleaners AND pick up Shawn AND pick up pizza because Eric is the Snack Mom that day but Morgan wants to get frozen yogurt on the way. Amy meanwhile is chilling in the recliner chair, eating grapes, wondering if she should read magazines and then soak in the tub, or soak in the tub and then read magazines – because reading WHILE soaking in the tub is not an option.

Cory and Morgan continue to pull Eric in different directions and Eric says “I’ll drive off a bridge. I swear I will.” Alan tells him to take his mother’s car.

…This episode really made me upset. Yeah, Eric definitely did a bad thing. Sure Cory did a bad thing as well but is watching an R-rated movie when you’re 12 really as bad as driving without a license and then parking illegally or doing whatever to get your dad’s car towed and impounded? I’m a little surprised Morgan didn’t get grounded for 2 weeks for, say, pouting at Mr. Feeny, or for baking a cake before dinner or something. And then Shawn gets grounded for two weeks for murdering a man, and then Jason gets grounded for 2 weeks for telling Eric that he should totally just drive without a license because what’s the worst that could happen?!

I just want to reiterate that I don’t think Amy and Alan are ridiculous for punishing Cory – they don’t want him watching R-rated movies at his age, or without them, or something. That’s their rule, whatever. I just think it’s ridiculous that he’s grounded for two weeks for watching a movie while his brother is also grounded for two weeks for driving without a license. That is very illegal and potentially dangerous.

On a final note, “Girl Meets World” is supposed to start filming on March 5 or thereabouts. It was supposed to have started filming in February. From some random Googling, it seems like they’ve been having some casting issues since November, so that’s probably the only reason for the delays – they’re just having trouble finding the right people for the parts.

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2 thoughts on “BMW – 118, “It’s a Wonderful Night”

  1. OMG That’s EXACTLY what I thought of Cory’s punishment XD. I even thought that a more reasonable punishment would be just a little talk at most, NOT the same punishment as someone that drove a car without a license. Like FFS, they are acting like he was smoking crack. When I was 9, I saw the first half of South Park Bigger Longer And Uncut, and when my parents found out they just gave it to a friend. By the way, the other “gets grounded for 2 weeks” was pretty funny, like “You baked a cake before DINNER?” “Oh-no-no-no, honey calm down, this may look bad but at it’s heart is the taste of a little girl who’s in some terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE trouble.” and “Dad, it’s just a dead guy!” “Shawn, you’re dog meat.”. 😄

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