BMW – 205, “The Uninvited”; October 21, 1994

We finally get a break from plots related to literary classics.

But first, they’ve finally cast Cory and Topanga’s son for “Girl Meets World”. The guy actually looks a bit like young Ben Savage. Funnily enough he also looks a bit like Rider Strong, but not in the way that photomerge I included in an earlier recap did. He kind of has Cory’s face, with Shawn’s chin, and Eric’s hair. The girl playing the daughter looks a bit like Ben Savage and Danielle Fishel too. I just hope the kids can act.

The man attached to the direct the pilot of the series has several directing credits to his name… none of them particularly impressive. He did direct several episodes of an early season of Roseanne, but he also directed a lot of really short-lived sitcoms, and “Big Momma’s House”… and “Deck the Halls”… and a lot of stuff I’ve never heard of. I want to believe that the writing and acting will make up for whatever doubts I have about the director, and I know not to discount a show before it’s aired. In fact, “Glee” has taught me that as long as you have really low expectations of something, the show will inevitably surprise you in being quite good – and if you have high hopes, the show will disappoint you by being infuriatingly awful.

20501

All the establishing shots of the house have had bikes in the front yard before. What is going on?

Alan’s distressed because he keeps getting magazines that are clearly for old people. He can’t think of what mailing list he must’ve been put on, until he remembers he ordered some Vitamin E pills that are special and make him more… durable. Gross.

Cory and Shawn come in, ready to play hoops, and Cory is wearing the MOST PLAID SHIRT EVER.

20502

It’s got patches of different plaid patterns, all arranged in a checkerboard pattern. My screenshot doesn’t do it justice.

Alan asks Amy to see if she can’t get him off the mailing lists while he’s outside playing basketball. He mimes making a shot and then throws out his back. Durff.

20503

We finally see Feeny’s classroom. Funnily enough, it looks exactly like the old one, but with some furniture switched out.

12002

Feeny is talking about the Pony Express while everyone is passing around notes. One girl we’ve never seen before is having a party. Another girl wants to know if she’s invited. Cory wants to know if it’s a make-out party, although Feeny reads it as “make-up” first.  And that’s the scene.

Cory’s afraid he totally won’t get invited now for making such a fool of himself in class. Then Harley arrives and is about to rough up Cory for sitting in his chair at lunch yesterday. Joey goes into a little thing about how everyone knows that’s his chair and will always be his chair. Frankie thinks Joey is implying that Frankie is attracted to his own sister. Frankie then goes to call home. Harley gets distracted by some nerds who escaped from Saved By the Bell (that show had the nerdiest nerds, I tell ya).

20504
This show has a jean jacket AND a jean vest.

Whats-her-face is handing out party invitations. In slow-motion. With a wind machine. I swear I’m not making any of this up. And then, a miracle!

20505

Cory tells Shawn they should party in the gym to celebrate their invitations, but Shawn reveals the shocking truth – he didn’t get one. Cory offers to ask… Girl why Shawn didn’t get an invite. Cory doesn’t actually ask for a reason, he just tells her there must have been mistake. She tells him there wasn’t and walks away.

Cory says he won’t go to the party since Shawn isn’t invited, but Shawn encourages him to go anyway. Cory says he’s in with the cool crowd now, he can just call someone, pull a few strings, and get Shawn invited. Shawn wonders who exactly he’s going to call, and Cory says he’s not sure, because normally he would just call Shawn.

20506

Cory can’t get the vending machine to actually give him a drink. Turner, who happens to be there, shows him how to kick the machine just right so it actually gets you what you paid for. This sparks a conversation about coolness. Cory tells Turner about the party and Shawn situation. I think Turner told him to go to the party anyway, and at the end he told him not to worry what other people think of him, because that’s not the cool thing to do. Turner leaves, and Cory kicks the machine again. Feeny sees this, and gives him one day’s detention for vandalizing school property. He then takes the can that was vended, “as evidence”.

PSA: Be careful when you kick vending machine. You have a 1 in 112,000,000 chance of being crushed to death by one. You can always go the route of the Candy Bandits from Degrassi and just break the front of the machine and steal all the food and drinks inside it.

20507

The establishing shot of the house had bikes in the yard again.

Feeny comes by and invites Alan to go work out with him at the health club. Alan is wallowing in pain and self-pity and won’t budge, so Feeny asks him to at least go down to the health club and sign up, because he gets $50 for every referral. But Alan still won’t move.

Amy is tired of Alan being such a baby. She tells him that the doctor said the only reason he can’t move is because he’s not even trying to move. So she…

20508

Cory tells them it’s not even dark yet. When Amy tells him to go upstairs and do homework, he reveals that he can’t, because it’s Friday and he has a party to go to. This is the first his parents have heard of this party. Cory tells them it’s at Melissa Harrington’s, and Alan tells him fine, he’ll pick him up in 5 hours, even though he doesn’t know where Melissa Harrington lives.

I'm pretty sure I have the same shirt as Cory. The same PLAID shirt.
I’m pretty sure I have the same shirt as Cory. The same PLAID shirt.

Cory has swallowed mouth wash, which you are not supposed to do, so that if he burps, it will be minty fresh. Also he put Eric’s deodorant in his pants. Because reasons. Eric feigns being super impressed at how cool Cory is, and then Cory rubs some of Eric’s cologne – “Rampaging Stallion” – over his face.

20510

Corry arrives at the party. Melissa could not be less enthusiastic about him. Cory takes a look around at all the party guests. So far, he’s the coolest guy there – there’s only 5 or 6 other guys there, and they would make Minkus look cool.

20511

Cory wants to know what’s up with this being a Geek Party, and Melissa reveals that her parents went over the party’s guest list and took off all the cool guys. And since none of the cool guys could go, none of the girls wanted to go. And since no girls were going, none of the regular guys wanted to go. Melissa’s parents like Cory. They think he’s a nice, safe guy. Cory asks how safe they’ll think he is when he does THIS:

20512

Melissa is impressed with Cory’s forwardness, but Cory can’t go through with actually kissing her.

20513

A girl arrives! Melissa tells the Geeks to go away, because the girl didn’t come for them. By the way, the guy in the gray shirt is Ubaldo. His actor was also the voice of Fievel from “An American Tail”. Yep.

New Girl tells Melissa that there’s this really cool party going on somewhere else, and Melissa leaves to go to the party with her.

Cory visits the Geeks, who are practicing Spin the Bottle even though there aren’t any girls there, and also that’s not really a game you can practice, other than figuring out how to get the bottle to land on someone you want it to. The Geeks don’t mind, because they’re all friends. And friendship is important, or something. Cory realizes they’re right, and runs to Shawn.

20514

Chubbie’s… No comment.

Harley achieved a high score at pinball. Joey says something about how no one will beat that score in a million years, and Frankie asks if Joey’s implying that he likes to write poetry at night.

Cory bumps into Turner – literally. Cory tells him he came looking for Shawn, but he thinks Shawn left already. But, no.

20515

Shawn’s just got a billion friends. Turner yells at Shawn that his friend is here – oh also apparently Turner encouraged Cory to stick with his friend and not go to the party in that earlier scene with the vending machine, I guess I pay as much attention as Cory. Shawn invites Cory to sit with him and that group of people we’ll never see again, but Cory thinks it’ll damage Shawn’s reputation if he’s seen talking to him.

Cory says he’s the worst kind of geek – a geek who didn’t know he was a geek. Shawn says Cory isn’t a geek, he’s Cory. And Shawn’s Shawn. Shawn doesn’t think Shawn is cool. Shawn didn’t even get invited to the cool party! But Cory points out that the group he was with IS the cool party – you can see Melissa sitting in the booth. Shawn is like “no way man” and tells Cory they should split. Cory thinks Shawn is trying to teach him a lesson, that if you’re cool, everywhere you go is a cool party, but Shawn’s just like “okay, whatever.”

20516
Add a laptop, and you have half of the internet users in the world represented in one picture.

Amy comes downstairs and says she got another catalog order. Alan thinks it’s another old person thing, but it turns out it’s a negligee or silky nightgown or something that’s tame enough to show on TGIF. Alan thinks he’s regaining some feeling in his legs, or back, or whatever. Then Amy whispers exactly what they’re going to do with her new nighty and Alan basically jumps off the couch, and says he’s going to have to give that new nightgown a once-over, or even a twice-over. Amy asks him if he isn’t too old to do that, and he says no and picks up the bottle of pills he mentioned earlier in the episode.

So the nightgown was pretty tame (I mean, you could see her shoulders, but it was floor-length and didn’t show off any cleavage), but that whole scene was kind of racy for a show that came on at 8:30 during a family show block.

I think the moral of this episode was that your friends don’t care if you’re a loser. I accept this moral.

This whole recap is about half as long as the last one.

I’m pretty sure Topanga is in the next episode, judging by the episode description. She is definitely in the episode after the next one, though.

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