I’m pretty sure before even watching this episode that this is the one that contains one of the show’s most iconic lines.
This is despite Topanga being streets ahead of modern hippies and people generally mistrustful of organized medicine; what I mean is, she takes fish oil supplements in 1995.
Lots of girls we’ve never seen before and will never see again flirt with Cory for some reason, Missy Robinson being the worst offender.
Cory and Shawn discuss this weirdness in Feeny’s class, specifically pointing out that Missy is sitting in Topanga’s seat. Maybe she’s not trying to usurp Topanga, but just doesn’t have anywhere else to sit since there’s only like 9 seats in that classroom.
Anyway, Feeny calls on Cory to report what he (Feeny) had been saying just then. Cory doesn’t know, but Shawn answers with “Franklin Roosevelt and the New Deal.” Feeny nearly has a heart attack, because it turns out that was correct. But alas, no, Shawn isn’t some super genius all of a sudden (discounting his ability to speak French fluently that popped up in an earlier episode), he’s just been using that answer for two years and figured sooner or later it had to be right.
Feeny says the class had to pair up for some history project, but tells Cory and Shawn they can’t be partners this time. They object, until some hot girl asks Shawn to pair up with her. Topanga’s friend Trinie… Treeni? [Edit: It says “Trini” is one of the screencaps. I am an idiot.] I forget, anyway she wants to pair up with Cory on account of she’d normally pair up with Topanga but she’s sick. Treeni’s kind of intense and crazy (she can call Topanga in the middle of the night and not say anything and somehow Topanga always knows it’s her), so Cory would rather not work with her.
Then Missy Robinson offers to be his partner. Cory, sensing a musky danger he can’t quite identify, opts to go solo, until Feeny tells him that Treeni still doesn’t have a partner if Cory’s looking, so Cory’s like “Oh, no, Missy’s my partner!”
Sounds like a solution here would be for Cory to suggest Missy and Treeni pairing up, while perhaps Cory goes solo until Topanga gets better.
Missy says something about Cory’s girlfriend and mistakes her name as “Topo Gigio“, which is a dated reference I only know of because of Scott Calvin giving that as one of his aliases when he’s arrested and asked for his real name in “The Santa Clause” (the other aliases all being other names for Santa.
Cory’s shocked because someone apparently paid for his lunch already. This is never brought up again, but I guess we’re supposed to believe it was Missy who paid for it. She calls for him flirtatiously from across the room. Cory insists to Shawn he’s only talking to her because of their history project.
Also shawarma is on the lunch menu, which is a thing that, like fish oil supplements, have recently become trendy.
Feeny wants Turner and Eli to sponsor him in some charity race or something – you know, where people pledge to donate so much money for every mile the person runs. Turner leaves for some reason, I forget why, but Eli stays. Feeny says he’s old and last time he did the race he didn’t make it and was sore and his arm’s already seizing up and he has a bad knee and old people complaints. So Eli pledges $50 per mile, so that way even if Feeny doesn’t finish the race, the charity will still get some money. I’m sure we can all see how this plot is going to turn out.
Missy tells Cory about her new moisturizer and tells him to touch her arm to feel how soft it is. He quickly pokes her and is like “Oh yeah, smooth.” Cory wants to start on their project that weekend, but Missy’s busy, because she has a party. She invites Cory and tells him to bring Shawn. Cory tries declining, saying he’d rather start working on the project, and no one brings up that if Missy’s party is on Friday they still have all of Saturday and Sunday to work on the project anyway.
Later at the house, Cory isn’t sure about going to the party, and opts to ask Topanga for her permission. Eric is taking the family photo off the wall and gives it to Shawn.
Amy and Alan come in, having wrestled the picture from Shawn, and ask Eric what he’s doing. Eric is hanging up a picture of some doughy-faced baseball player and says he’s the ticket to paying for his “college intuition.”
Eric’s plan is to buy baseball memorabilia of that baseball player, who’s close to breaking the all-time record for getting hit in the head, so his currently relatively cheap memorabilia (well, that photo cost $200) will totally be worth a lot. Aw, man, remember when memorabilia of anything was actually worth something?
Topanga gives Cory permission to go to the dance, and Cory says he’ll buy her some ice cream and give it to her at 9. 9 o’clock on the dot.
There are only four people at Missy’s party. This was intentional. I guess it’s supposed to be a makeout party. I don’t know if it’s more creepy or less creepy to have a makeout party with only four people as opposed to lots of people.
Shawn and Missy’s friend go upstairs. Missy makes Cory sit on the PLAID couch with her and confesses her like for him.
Missy’s father is a hunter, but she’s “never shot a boy she liked before.”
Missy wants to know everything about Cory, she says flirtatiously, and Cory gives her his entire life’s story. She cuts him off, turns on sexy music, and makes Cory dance with her. She kisses him, mentions how it’s a shame that it’s past 9 and they haven’t even started making out, and Cory freaks out and tries calling Topanga. Missy nibbles on the ear while he’s on the phone. Rather than suggesting Missy go take a cold shower, Cory finishes his conversation, and Missy kisses him harder.
Then Missy’s dad comes home and she FREAKS. Turns out she’s not supposed to have boys over, and she encourages Cory to get out fast. When Cory asks how fast, Missy says “You know those deer up there? Faster.”
Eric’s watching the baseball game where that doughy guy is playing. He (the player) is hit in the head, and Eric celebrates – only one hit to go! But then the guy announces that he is officially retiring from baseball. Eric’s plan is ruined. But he swears baseball guy will play baseball again, or his name isn’t Eric Neil Matthews. Amy, puzzled, tells him that’s not his middle name.
Cory and Shawn have escaped danger and buy ice cream from Chubbies. I was about to question why a burger place is selling pints of ice cream, but then I remembered there are places here that do that.
Cory’s freaking out about the kiss, and then Topanga shows up behind him. She has not looked or sounded sick this entire episode even though her throat apparently hurts. And now she’s at a burger place because she wanted to get out of the house, thereby probably infecting all the burger patrons. Well, I guess it’s not like she has measles, though. Haha, we had a measles outbreak caused by two different people a few weeks ago. One was in the airport at some point, another was at a concert, and it happened that they were both here during Emerald City Comic Con, so with that plus all the other public spaces they were in plus how airports generally work, potentially tens of thousands of people could’ve been exposed to measles germs. Haha, good stuff.
…Anyway, Cory hands her the ice cream and tries to run away, but then comes back to confess that he accidentally kissed Missy Robinson. Topanga, understandably, is a bit outraged and confused. “How do you accidentally kiss someone? Did she slip on a rug and your lips broke her fall?”
Cory says he never meant to do it, and Topanga asks if that’s supposed to make her feel better. Cory feels awful, the worst he’s ever felt, and Topanga says she feels bad as well and what is she supposed to do? Cory implies he would deserve to be broken up with, but Topanga says she has to know how Missy kissed him. She asks if it was “like this” and gives him a quick peck on the lips, or if it was “like this”:
Cory says no one’s ever kissed him like that before, and Topanga says no one ever will again if he goes around kissing Missy Robinson some more. Seems they’ve patched things up.
Technically Missy Robinson kissed Cory, Cory didn’t kiss her back, though. He was caught off guard, didn’t want to go to that party in the first place, and Missy has been really aggressively pursuing him all day… week? So it’s not really Cory’s fault anyway. Maybe that’s why Topanga was so cool with it instead of going down the typical Sitcom Female route where she gets hugely angry over something so dumb.
During the credits, Eli wonders how well Feeny did on the marathon with his bad knee. Turner doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Enter Feeny, who apparently walked ten miles. Eli owes $500. Mr. Feeny is a marathon shark. Go Feeny. His radio DJ name is DJ Smooth.
Cory’s sick with what Topanga had. He declares he’ll never get up off the couch. But Topanga, on the phone with him at school, says she’s sent something over that will get him on his feet in no time.
She sent Treeni, who apparently skipped school for this.
This was a silly episode. I like episodes that can deal with more serious premises – like infidelity – in a lighthearted manner. Things are going to get really sad in a few episodes, though.
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