BMW: 314, “A Kiss is More Than a Kiss”; Jan 26, 1996

What a long title.

After not caring about his breakup in the previous episode, Cory suddenly cares about his breakup in this episode.

Also the opening credits are the same as they were in the first twelve episodes of the season, so I think that last time was really just because whatever channel was syndicating the reruns just used the opening credits from season 4 or whenever.

Anyway.

Shawn, wearing a dining chair upholstery cover, objects to Cory talking to Cory. It turns out Cory and Topanga are actually modeling formalwear for the prom that coming Friday or Saturday or whatever. Cory says he can’t just back out of it, because he made a promise. And Topanga doesn’t seem to find it awkward, so… yeah.

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Shawn asks out Katie and Melissa for him and Cory. They agree. Boy I can’t wait until they become super developed characters over the next coming episodes!

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Feeny’s gardening in the dark, and is around to see Eric read yet another college rejection letter. Feeny tells him basically that the right college will find him eventually. Remember, this was 1996, so it was actually worth it for most people to go to college.

Cory says something about his upcoming get-together with Katie or Melissa. Amy and Eric say it sounds like a date, but Cory disagrees. Then, shock of all shocks, he mentions Morgan. He asks why they can’t be like her. She’s a great sister, stays up in her room all quiet, never bugs him…

Yet more shockingly, Morgan comes downstairs.

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It’s a different, older actress than the one who played Morgan last time we saw her. She says “That was the longest time-out I’ve ever had!” See it’s funny, because she hasn’t been on the show since like April 1995.

It’s immediately clear that New Morgan is annoying. Old Morgan was cute and acted like the 5 year old she was. New Morgan is obnoxious and needlessly mean. She makes fun of Cory right away. Amy makes her watch tv in the living room, and Morgan says she doesn’t want to watch tv. TV isn’t funny, Cory’s life is funny. Which itself is funny because Cory’s life is on tv!

Umm Shawn and either Katie or Melissa have a good time on the date, but Cory’s really nervous about his part of the date with Melissa or Katie. At the end of the night, Cory shakes her hand rather than kissing her or anything.

The next day, it turns out she actually liked that Cory didn’t try to kiss her. Proves he’s different from other guys. She wants to go out with him again. And she’s wearing a big velvet hat with a big flower on it.

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NINETEEN-NINETIES.

After the date, Shawn still thinks Cory’s ridiculous for still not kissing Melissa. Cory explains that every time he tried, he just kept thinking about Topanga. He’s not over Topanga, and he decides Topanga isn’t over him either.

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Oh, I guess she is.

Meanwhile, Eric got an acceptance letter from Boris College. Feeny has never heard of this place, but I guess the letter looked legitimate.

Shawn tells Cory there’s no issue with Topanga moving on, because that’s what you’re supposed to do. Cory takes this boldly and runs to Melissa’s house. They kiss passionately.

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It turns out they don’t actually have any sparks between each other, and both of them are just like “Oh well. See you in school tomorrow!”

At school the next day, Cory jumps on blond mop-tops back. Topanga’s all “Why are you like this, everybody’s staring!” Cory’s like “Well it didn’t seem to bother you last night at Chubbie’s to have everyone staring at you!” The audience “oooooooh”s and Topanga goes all wide-eyed. “You saw that?”

The bells rings, and Topanga says she has to get to class. Cory says when they were still dating, she would’ve been okay with being 5 minutes late. But they’re not dating, so…

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It turns out Boris College doesn’t really exist. Eric already knew that, because the school mailed him a diploma a couple days after he got the acceptance letter. Feeny wonders why he kept bragging about being accepted there since he knew it was fake. Eric says he just wanted to feel special or something.

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Cory throws out Topanga-related souvenirs while a Maxwell House coffee can watches in the background.

His parents tell him to call down, and that he shouldn’t throw out their friendship just because Topanga’s dating other people a whole two weeks after their break-up.

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They’re holding the fashion show in the cafeteria. Or the hallway. Wow.

Cory actually shows up to the fashion show. Yay, Cory! Topanga says it hurt her feelings when Cory said he didn’t want to be her friend anymore. I guess I wasn’t paying attention during that part. Cory says it sure didn’t make him feel great when he saw her kissing that guy.

Topanga says she doesn’t feel the same way about him as she did about Cory, and dating other people and moving on is just what they’re supposed to do. Cory disagrees, saying he’s supposed to see other people and she’s just supposed to wait until he dies. Um, then they patch things up so they’re friends again.

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Topanga thanks Cory for coming, and Cory says he’d never not be there for her.

THAT SWEATER WINS THE EPISODE.
THAT SWEATER WINS THE EPISODE.

Morgan is filling out college applications. Eric asks why, since she’s only in 3rd grade even though she was in pre-school last season. She says it’s because if an idiot like him can get into college, so can she. He asks “Isn’t it time you bothered somebody else?” and she realizes it is time. She heads upstairs, calling “Corrryyy! I’m in your rooooom!” That’s really stupid, because that’s also Eric’s room, so she should technically still be bothering Eric. I hate New Morgan. Why did they do this? Were audiences really saying “We love the show, but I think it would be better if Morgan was 3 years old and a total jerk”? Nothing against the actress, my gripe is with the creative decision and writing. Plus this makes it really weird for if they’re ever going to include Morgan in Girl Meets World, which actress? New Morgan was on the show longer, but Old Morgan was the original Morgan.

Eh, well, Feeny shows up just then. Eric says he decided that for every rejection letter he gets, he’ll write 5 more applications. That’s a lot of work. Eric should work on his community service or something instead, so he’ll have something to make up for his poor grades. But anyway, Feeny wrote him a great recommendation letter. Eric’s a little upset because he already sealed 5000 envelopes that won’t have that letter in them.

Somewhat relevant, but I always loved how Roseanne handled having a new actress for an old character. See, the actress who played oldest daughter Becky went to college, so they brought in a new actress (Sarah Chalke of Scrubs fame, also Stella on How I Met Your Mother). When Sarah Chalke’s Becky showed up, all the characters were like “Who are you?” and Roseanne says something about how her oldest daughter’s been away so long she’s barely recognizable.

Then, bizarrely, a few seasons later, the original actress for Becky came back, replacing Sarah Chalke. And then Sarah Chalke came back. The two actresses alternated the role for a while until Sarah Chalke took over until the end. There’s a line in the Disney World episode after Becky expresses excitement, Roseanne says “Aren’t you glad you’re here this week?”

A lot of people though the alternating Beckies was weird and annoying, but I thought it was pretty funny, and a good way to address something that was pretty obvious.

Bonus:

I have GOT to review the show this clip is from. It’s got Marie Osmond and Betty White in it. Plus the main character voiced Terra on the Teen Titans cartoon! And Gwen from Ben 10 but I’ve never seen that show.

Also, Cory, Shawn, and Feeny’s voice appear at the end of the episode as well.

A while from now I’ll have to do a TGIF crossover week thing, since there was apparently one night where all the TGIF shows crossed over with each other.

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