BMW: 315, “The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter”, Feb 2, 1996

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Shawn’s making out with some chick again.

And by “some chick” I mean LARISA OLEYNIK.

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She’s not a huge star, especially these days, but she was friggin Alex Mack, okay?

Shawn says he really likes her. But she (her character is Dana Pruitt, just by the way) isn’t really cool with how much Shawn likes to just make out with girls and stuff and doesn’t want to date him anymore. Why the heck did she agree to date him in the first place, then??

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Eric’s trying hard to not suck at school so he can get into college. Turner suggests he apply for the internship “at the station.” Eli doesn’t think that’s such a great idea, since Eric is a slacker and there’s going to be actually good students who apply and will get the internship. So what’s the problem with letting Eric apply if there’s no chance he’ll get it anyway? Eli is a terrible teacher.

Meanwhile, it turns out Dana Pruitt wants to date Cory, not Shawn. Shawn is obviously disappointed. I mean they were such a cute couple in the 30 seconds we saw them dating in this episode.

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Shawn has been waiting for Cory to come back from his date. Cory is surprisingly dressed for New England winter weather. No one on tv is ever dressed appropriately for winter, so this is interesting.

Shawn asks Cory about the date – just stuff about how much he liked the date, Dana, etc. Cory suspects Shawn may really like Dana. I already know he does, so let me tell you this scene is absolutely thrilling. One of these days I’ll be able to refer to a scene as “thrilling” without being completely sarcastic about it.

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Eric talks to the one other kid going out for the station internship. He has good grades, award-winning documentaries, and a recommendation letter from Ted Turner. He says he could go into the interview without pants and still get the job. Eric advises against that, having seem him too many times in gym class. The other kid is Danny Strong, who has a lot of random bit parts but also played a recurring character in Saved By the Bell: The New Class, Gilmore Girls, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Clueless, and also he wrote and produced The Butler and wrote the screenplay for the upcoming The Hunger Games: Mockingjay movies. [Or rather, wo-wrote and co-produced, probably.]

Dana is running the school’s blood drive sign-ups. This is weird, because 1) the schools I went to, you had to be at least 18 to donate blood, and 2) you could just show up to the blood drive donation buses, you didn’t need to sign up.

Shawn has some blood to donate. He siphoned it out of his uncle’s arms while he was sleeping. It’s in some jar or vial or something in a paper lunch bag.

Shawn talks to Dana about her date with Cory. All you really need to know is that Dana said Shawn isn’t really boyfriend material. She has a point.

Shawn shares this information with Cory over lunch. Topanga sits down with them, and they’re like “You’re a woman, what’s Shawn doing wrong?” Topanga at first resists telling Shawn anything, but finally spills the awful truth: Shawn does not understand women.

You don’t know what we are, you don’t know how we feel, and you don’t know what we think. You see us as dating objects, and the faster we are, the more you want us. And until you can grow up and see beyond that, no matter how many girls you go out with, you will always be lonely.

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That speech was awesome, but the best part was how the audience couldn’t agree on how to react to it. Half the audience did a sad “awwww”, the other half laughed.

Feeny is talking about presidents, or whatever. Shawn asks Feeny if he would consider Kennedy a great president, and if him (Kennedy, not Feeny) being a total babe magnet affected him being great or whatever. Dana Pruitt basically says he was terrible because he cheated on his wife, and “less of a husband, less of a leader.” All of the women in the class agree. Shawn rebuts that it’s hard for a guy to change who he is, and all the guys agree. Dana says you can’t change if you don’t try, Shawn says he can’t change if he doesn’t get a chance. Feeny likes this debate and tells everyone to write an essay on it.

Here’s my essay: Why should him cheating on his wife diminish his accomplishments as a president? Like, Tiger Woods cheating on wife doesn’t change the fact that he was a great golfer (or still is?). I do understand the logic behind this though – like “how can we trust a man with the whole country when his wife can’t even trust him?”, BUT that is just the way of the world, that sometimes there are awful people who still managed to do good things. I suppose I’ve just led myself back to the beginning now, as I wonder if the terrible things should diminish the accomplishments, or if the accomplishments can make up for all the bad?

Hmm… That actually could make for a pretty interesting essay.

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Eric finishes up his internship interview. He sweated really badly during the interview, and says “I’m not gonna get this thing, am I?” The interviewer says that everyone has an equal chance of getting the job. When Eric says “Really?!” she says, “Oh, don’t do this to me,” and goes back into her office.

Eric stands in front of one of the cameras and says “This just in, Eric Matthews is a huge loser.” This casually dressed old man who’s cleaning up the craft services table starts talking to him. Eric says he did poorly because he wasn’t himself. He really wanted the job, but some guy with straight A’s who just wanted another thing to put on his resume will get it instead. He’s very disappointed in himself for screwing up in front of the most important person at the station.

Except it turns out the old guy is really the most important person at the station and not a janitor or whatever. He’s the station manager, and Eric is the new intern. Yay!

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Shawn set up a picnic outside Chubbie’s. In the snow.

He asks Dana why she won’t give him a chance. Dana says she’s afraid of him.

PIC

Shawn’s like “don’t be” and then Dana’s like “let’s go out again”. PLOT RESOLVED.

Actually their whole conversation for some reason made me think of like a reverse Twilight situation, where the girl is like “you’re a monster!” and the guy is like “I don’t care, I like you!”

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Morgan’s helping Eric prepare coffee. Amy and Alan come downstairs, Amy saying it’s sweet that Eric made coffee. Alan says, incredulously, “Yeah, for the next three years!” There’s only about 20 cups of coffee, so I guess Alan only drinks coffee once every two months or so.

Eric explains that it’s part of his job as an intern to get coffee for the station people. His parents are all “I’m pretty sure that means bringing the coffee to them, stupid.” Joke’s on them, though.

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All the station people come in to partake of fine Maxwell House brew and homemade muffins. I guess they must all work for the noon news since the morning newscasters have to be at work by like 4 am most of the time.

If you couldn’t tell, I haven’t been wholly invested in these past few episodes.

 

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