GMW: 103, “Girl Meets Sneak Attack”; July 18, 2014

Why couldn’t this episode just be called “Sneak Attack”?

And I was just thinking, wouldn’t it have made more sense for the last episode to be called “Girl Meets Communication” or “Girl Meets Analogue” instead of “Girl Meets Boy”, since it was mostly about how communicating face to face instead of with a phone creates a deeper, more meaningful connection with a person, and not really about meeting boys?

Sounds like from the episode description this is yet another episode where all we really learn about Riley is that she likes Lucas. We already knew more about Shawn by this point in Boy Meets World and he wasn’t even intended to be a major character yet. Heck, we knew more about a two-episode pedophile on Degrassi: TNG by this point than we know about Riley. I just don’t have a real feel for her. I mean, what’s she interested in? All she’s done is pine for Lucas and complain that her father is her teacher. And even the way she’s done those things hasn’t been a good indicator of her personality, like she never seems really annoyed at Cory other than when he’s using her as an example for a Life Lesson, which is going to be always on this show.

…Also, the iMDB description for episode 6 is basically the same description of this episode, so let’s hope it’s just an error on their end and not that the show will already be recycling its own storylines by the sixth episode.

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Cory and Auggie both have shaving cream beards. Also we FINALLY learn for sure what Topanga’s job is – she is indeed a lawyer. I’m SO glad they decided to drop that thing where they were going to have Topanga run the local teenager hangout, a pudding shop.

Riley’s super happy for some reason, and Maya and Farkle come over for breakfast for some reason. Except Farkle already had a huge breakfast at his house, so I don’t know why he’s there. By the way, I hope this show goes on for several years and Farkle becomes super attractive like… erm… Come to think of it, there haven’t been a lot of male Disney Channel stars who grew up to be dreamboats. The guys in High School Musical are the only ones I can think of, and they were all already attractive when they first showed up on the Disney Channel.

Cory turns on the tv, to Topanga’s dismay, but Auggie says he’s too old for the stupidly named show. Because he has a new best friend, a girl, even. Also Auggie is WAY overacting. I miss Morgan #1. Even Stephanie on Full House was better than this (sidebar: DJ, Kimmie, and Stephanie are by far the only things about Full House I liked)

At school, Riley’s still happy. But then Maya sees some girl playfully touching Lucas in the shoulder, and Riley sees them and gets sad. And the chalkboard in the classroom just says “Pearl Harbor.” Also I think it’s crazy they still have a chalkboard in 2014.

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Later, in actual class, Cory says Pearl Harbor was a sneak attack and that’s pretty much all he says. Riley’s confused about where she is, so Maya makes her raise her hand and Cory says she’s excused.

Meanwhile, Lucas and the girl – whose name is Missy – are talking about the movies. Cory continues talking, of course pausing while Lucas and Missy talk. And whatever Cory says is paralleling the situation as Riley spies on Lucas and Missy. Then Riley comes in and says she can do “boop” as well as Missy can.

And of course, Cory does nothing about the interruption to his class. He actually lets all the kids talk for two minutes and then just goes on with the lesson without yelling at them to sit down or anything.

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Missy is all snooty and tells Riley, who’s hiding in her locker after class, that she didn’t know she and Lucas were together. Riley says they aren’t, and Missy’s all “Good, then you won’t mind if I ask him out.”

Lucas is so bland I honestly don’t care. I actually don’t even care about Riley losing her love interest.

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Auggie won’t put on his Mr. Googly pajamas because his girlfriend won’t like them. Topanga points out she’s the only girl who’ll see Auggie in his pajamas anyway, and Auggie responds “You never know.” The audience chuckles. Actually, the audience only ever chuckles. They never really laugh at anything on the show.

Something else happens and Auggie still refuses the pajamas. And his parents tell him to not grow up so fast, just like in the last episode. YAWN.

Riley and Maya meanwhile decide that Riley needs to start flirting with Lucas to win him back from Missy. But Riley doesn’t know how to flirt. Luckily, Farkle pulls a Zach Morris and climbs into her room at that moment. Farkle is the only person in their grade who knows how to flirt. Besides Missy. So he’s going to teach them how to flirt, because he likes them.

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I really like Farkle. I really like that he’s a big nerd, but he doesn’t dress especially geeky or wear huge glasses, and that he’s not afraid of women and flirts with everyone. He’s a little annoying sometimes, but he’s still my second-favorite character on this show, behind Maya. I’ve already said no one else has a personality and that Auggie is extremely annoying so I won’t mention it again. Even though I just did, just now.

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At lunch the next day, the trio wonder if Lucas is going to sit with them or with Missy. Lucas does sit with them, but then Missy drags him away to an empty table rather than dragging an empty chair to the table.

Then Farkle decides he’s going to steal Missy from Lucas. He heads over to where she’s sitting and asks her why she’s going out with a boy when she could go out with a man.

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Does he shave his legs?? Or does he just not have leg hair? I don’t spend any time around kids, especially involving their legs, but I assume we are all born with some amount of leg hair? It’s not like armpit hair and and pubic hair where it starts growing in later, is it??

Well, anyway, Missy tells Farkle he’s next. Then Missy yells food fight and throws food on herself. So Cory gives her and Lucas detention.

Then I forget what happens by Cory says “Ya do?!” like he did sometimes on Boy Meets World.

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Auggie has a date with his girlfriend, who’s apparently an older woman. Her name is Ava and she’s 6. Auggie is 5. Topanga confirms that Ava likes Auggie even though she’s older, and she says yes, because she can tell Auggie what to do. Then Ava decides she’s going to take Auggie’s big stuffed Mr. Googly because she’s older. Mr. Googly sounds like a euphemism for a body part.

Topanga tells Ava to leave because she’s even older and Ava is a bad influence or whatever. I sure hope Ava’s mom and/or dad is still in the vicinity. I mean it’s one thing that they’re letting a 13 year old wander around New York City by herself, but it seems ridiculous to have a 6 year old doing the same.


Apparently that thing I forgot that happened was Maya and Riley – who I almost just called Miley and Carla, seriously why do I keep messing up their names?? And why do I keep calling Riley names that are SO different from Riley?? – begged Cory to give them detention so Missy wouldn’t seduce Lucas even though Cory would still be in the room, although to be fair, so far Cory’s been pretty awful at controlling his class.

Cory wants to use the detention to teach the kids more about Pearl Harbor. I remember Boy Meets World was WAY less clumsy and obvious about doing the “lesson parallels the character’s problems” thing. Degrassi TNG was SUPER less obvious about it because sometimes it just come down to only mentioning the title of a book they were going to read. They wouldn’t even mention anything about the book in some cases. Good Genius Bonus opportunities, there.

Cory talks about how alliances were forged by battle. Then Farkle shows up.

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Cory tells him he doesn’t belong in detention, but Farkle says if his friends are there, then he does belong there. Guys I think Farkle just became my favorite character.

Cory continues, about how America was put to the test and whatever. Then Lucas says that Missy invited him to the movies. Missy says “I think they’re already aware of that.” Then Lucas continues, telling them he thought it’d be cool if they all came too. The audience and I are genuinely amused and pleased at this turn of events.

Missy tells him the invitation was just for him. Lucas says, in that case, he doesn’t want to go. Missy is enraged – no one ever turns her down. Lucas is just like “Well, they’re my friends, and I don’t want to do anything without them.” Man that would be a GREAT lead-in for a Girl Meets World XXX parody. Hey did you know the “This Ain’t Glee” adult film parody of Glee actually won an award? Also that there’s an award ceremony honoring the best of pornography? I got a little too deep into Wikipedia (no pun intended) one day, sorry.

Missy gets mad and tells them to grow up and she leaves. Riley, echoing her mother’s earlier statement towards Auggie, says “Not yet.”

Cory, surprisingly, notices that Missy leaves, but not surprisingly, doesn’t do anything about it. Remember in the first episode of Boy Meets World when he had detention, and Feeny was ignoring him, and he left, waited for Feeny to react, and then came back and was a little miffed that Feeny didn’t do anything?

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Riley says the best thing about friends is sometimes all you have to do is trust them. Cory then says that after World War II, the United States enjoyed a time of peace and prosperity, then declares detention over.

Over the credits, Riley tells Auggie to hold on to Mr. Googly for as long as he can, because they’re friends. Topanga and Cory also add stuff about friends and staying “this many” for a while.

There really wasn’t a sneak attack in this episode, unless you count how Farkle snuck his way right into my heart.

But man, three episodes in and Lucas is STILL extremely bland. He basically didn’t do anything in this episode until the detention scene. And it came across like he was specifically being a jerk to Missy on purpose, like he planned from the beginning by agreeing to go on a date with her just to make her mad later when he said he thought all his friends could go on the date too.

According to this and the last episode (re: Lucas killed his parents and is on the run from the law), apparently my preferred headcanon is that Lucas is a sociopath. That actually makes him way more interesting.

And I don’t usually say this about anyone, but I really want them to Brother Chuck Auggie or replace him. I mean I don’t like to judge child actors too harshly, but he’s really obnoxious and too over-the-top. Like he would’ve fit in fine as part of Michell’s crowd of friends on Full House, but on this show he’s just annoying. On a related note, Rowan Blanchard is really improved since episode 1.

By the way, if anyone comes along here and protests to me comparing this show to Boy Meets World since they’re different shows, different eras, etc, please note that I also compared this show to Degrassi and Full House, and have compared Boy Meets World to Glee at certain points as well. It’s not wrong to compare things to other things. It would be wrong if I was just like “Well Cory isn’t Feeny in this scene so this is awful.” I do think Feeny was a way better teacher in his worst moments than Cory has been so far, though. All Cory does is just stand around while the kids are having their nonsense and then continue talking when they pause.

OH yeah, I know it’s July 17 and the original airdate is July 18. I guess this episode got leaked early or something. So, er, yeah.

Also the first two episodes got over 5 million and 3 million views respectively. I think that’s pretty respectable for a cable show. It’s way more than Glee got per episode this past season. Also getting over 5 million views for the first episode which was available online in a couple different formats a few weeks before the television premiere is actually amazing.


2 thoughts on “GMW: 103, “Girl Meets Sneak Attack”; July 18, 2014

  1. I had mixed feelings of the first episode, but it’s growing on me. I do agree about Auggie. But want to add that I have a 5 year old, and 4 of my nieces/nephews are also aged 5/6. Not one of them talk like, “I’m this many”. My 3 year old talks like that rarely. If he’s 5, they need to write his script for a five year old, not a three year old.

    1. That’s a really good point. Maybe that’s part of why Auggie is so annoying – the part they’ve written is too young for the character and the actor. I guess maybe it’s better than if they’d written him to be an obnoxiously precocious child who knows everything and is always besting his older sister despite being like 7 years younger than her… My fingers are still crossed he gets less annoying, though.
      But anyway it’s good to hear from someone who has actual experience with little kids. Mine is pretty much limited to random passerbys and little kids in other tv shows.

      I’m still not completely sold on the show yet, but it’s definitely growing on me as well. I’m still hoping Riley gets a personality trait besides having a crush on Lucas and being annoyed at her dad, and I’m actually looking forward to watching more episodes.

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